When the Church Heals You… and When It Hurts You: A Pastor’s Honest Journey Through the Great, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Jun 5
3 min read

There’s a truth many lifelong Christians hesitate to admit out loud: the Church can be the place where you meet Jesus… and the place where you get wounded the deepest.

I’ve lived all sides of it. Forty‑two years in the Christian world — from pew to pulpit — has given me a front‑row seat to the great, the good, the bad, and the ugly of God’s people.

And if you’ve walked with Christ long enough, you’ve probably seen the same.

The Great and the Good: Where Christ Shines Through His People

Some of the most beautiful moments of my life came through the Church.

I met genuine, Spirit‑filled believers whose lives radiated Jesus so clearly that they became living invitations to grace. They weren’t perfect — but they were real. Their witness helped lead me to Christ, shape my calling, and eventually guide me into pastoral ministry.

These were the people who showed me:

What it looks like when Jesus truly indwells a person
How faith can be lived with integrity, humility, and joy
That the Church, at its best, is a lighthouse pointing toward the Kingdom

Those encounters were the “great” and the “good.” They were the reason I said yes to ministry, yes to preaching, yes to shepherding a community toward the light of Christ.

The Bad and the Ugly: When the Church Forgets Who She Is

But then there’s the other side — the side we don’t put on brochures.

I’ve seen Christians behave worse than the atheists they condemn. I’ve seen “believers” whose actions contradict every sermon they amen. And I’ve learned the hard truth: There are good Christians and bad Christians, just like there are good atheists and bad atheists.

The difference isn’t God. The difference is choice.

God doesn’t author the bad behavior of His people. We do.

My own journey took me through:

A Roman Catholic upbringing where I never heard about an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus
A United Methodist denomination that revoked my credentials, fired me, and left my family facing joblessness and homelessness — without ever telling me why

That wasn’t just “church conflict.” That was church hurt — the kind that scars your soul and shakes your trust.

And yet… here I am. Still following Jesus. Still pastoring. Still believing in the Church — even when she limps.

Finding Freedom Outside the Shackles of Institutionalism

Today, I pastor Barryville Community Church, a non‑denominational congregation where I’m no longer bound by the machinery of institutional religion.

I’m free to preach Christ without bureaucracy. Free to shepherd without politics. Free to build community without denominational chains.

And honestly? I love my Christian brothers and sisters — deeply. But sometimes… I enjoy the company of the so‑called “pagans and heathens” even more (yes, jokingly said).

Why?

Because many non‑church folks are:

Down‑to‑earth
Honest about their flaws
Unafraid to be real

Meanwhile, religious people — when they take their religion the wrong way — can become worse versions of themselves.

Jesus understood this. He spent more time with sinners than with the religious elite. Not because He approved of sin, but because He preferred honesty over hypocrisy.

And I get that. I really do.

What I’ve Learned After a Lifetime in the Church

After four decades of walking with Jesus and His people, here’s the truth I’ve come to embrace:

The Church is beautiful because Jesus is beautiful.
The Church is broken because people are broken.
Church hurt is real — but so is church healing.
God uses both the saints and the sinners to shape us.
And sometimes the “outsiders” reflect humility better than the “insiders.”

But through it all, one thing remains unshaken:

Jesus is worth following — even when His followers fail.

And that’s why I keep pastoring. That’s why I keep loving people. That’s why I keep building community. Not because the Church is perfect, but because Christ is faithful

Where I’m Headed Today

Later today I’ll be at Rose’s Bar & Grill in Barryville, NY, relaxing with the down‑to‑earth folks who keep life real as we watch the NBA Finals together. Go Knicks!